“All feelings are acceptable , All wishes are acceptable.Not all actions and behaviours are acceptable” - Dr John Gottman
Research by Dr. John Gottman shows that emotional awareness and the ability to manage feelings will determine how successful and happy our children are throughout life, even more than their IQ. Being an Emotion Coach to our kids has positive and long-lasting effects, providing a buffer for the complexities of life that allows them to be more confident, intelligent, and well-rounded individuals.
Most of the parenting literature today is focused on discipline. When you are an effective disciplinarian as a parent, the most you can have is very obedient children, Of course, we all want cooperative and obedient children who pleases us as parents. But we also want them to be creative, to be able to think for themselves, to fulfill their potential, to be compassionate, to live their lives with meaning, to be moral people, to be proud of themselves (but not boastful), to have passion, self esteem and so much more! You cannot achieve that with great discipline alone.
THE SCIENCE AND RESEARCH
EMOTION COACHING is a term that emerged in the 1990s, named by Dr John Gottman, after 20 years of research on relationships, families and parenting styles in childhood and beyond. His research findings show that kids who can accept and share their emotions do better in many ways. They form stronger relationships, achieve more in school, bounce back from emotional setbacks more quickly and are physically healthier.
Researchers have identified 3 main styles of how parents respond to their children’s challenging emotion moments: