DO YOU FIND YOURSELF HELPING YOUR CHILDREN IMMEDIATELY WHEN YOU SEE THEM STRUGGLING WITH SOMETHING? This is something which I am so guilty of. Sharing a recent incident, I was trying to help my 2 year old put on a dress but she insisted with great willpower that she wants to wear it on by herself without any help. I relented and watched her struggled to wear her dress. First, her head went into the hole meant for her hand and she wanted to squeeze her big head into the armhole. She struggled for a while, got frustrated but continue to resist any help. I encouraged her by guiding her where her head and arms should go. With my guidance, she finally managed to figure out how to put on the dress by herself! I will always remember her priceless expression and big "YAY"!
What happens when we try something for the first time? We fail! Nothing wrong with that. But in recent decades, parents have started to deny their children with the right to fail. Here's a video snapshot of my 2 year old trying to stack up wooden blocks, unsuccessful even after many tries. Noticed how she laughed and enjoyed herself in the process even though she was not successful. I resisted my own attempts to help her and instead observed how she struggled through the process, praising her for her good efforts.
When we do not give our children time and opportunity to figure out things on their own, we are denying them with the skills they need later on in life. By allowing our children to struggle with problems and the consequences of their actions, they will learn the necessary patience for coming up with solutions. Of course, this approach applies in situations when you know that the consequences are not life threatening or permanent, for example, letting a toddler struggle with wearing his own clothes or shoes.
Let’s normalise failure so that your child knows he or she is not the only one who doesn’t get things right on the first try. Children are usually more resilient than parents believe and we want to cultivate them into resilient adults too!
What are your thoughts and experiences on letting children fail and figuring out on their own? Share them with us and we’ll love to hear from you! 🧡